


The Soybeans That Would. And Could. And Did.

by DeprivedofInsanity



Category: Real life - Fandom
Genre: Crack Treated Seriously, Gen, I had too much fun writing this, based on real life, questionable science, ricin oil is dangerous guys, so is radioactivity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-06
Updated: 2016-07-06
Packaged: 2018-07-22 00:40:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 923
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7411631
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DeprivedofInsanity/pseuds/DeprivedofInsanity
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"A group of environmental activists destroyed a cargo of genetically modified soya in the French port of Lorient on Friday, hoping to highlight the presence of GM products in the food chain.</p>
<p>About 100 protesters climbed to the tip of a silo and poured ricin oil over the soya on Friday morning so as to render it unusable.</p>
<p>The grain was destined to be used as animal feed, they said, and they wanted to alert the public that GM products were present in meat, despite France’s restrictions on their cultivation.</p>
<p>The campaigners are demanding and end to GM soya imports, which come mainly from Latin America, labelling of transgenic products and a revival of grain cultivation in Europe." ~RFI, a French radio station (2012)</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Soybeans That Would. And Could. And Did.

**Author's Note:**

> This work is not intended to support or oppose any views concerning GMOs, activists, or the French. This is one of my old works from 2012, written purely for fun. Any similarities between characters or locations mentioned in this work and real life are purely coincidental. Everything concerning people, places, radioactivity, resultant mutations, and any alien species out there are from my brain. 
> 
> But ricin is very poisonous and will kill you if ingested, inhaled, injected, or otherwise absorbed. Do not try it. You will die a slow, painful death. Find out more about the hows and whys [here](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ricin#Toxicity).
> 
> [Article about the protestors](http://en.rfi.fr/americas/20121123-french-protesters-destroy-imported-gm-soya)

Glittering spheres of gold tumbled into the moon-lit sea, waves devouring the ricin-oil-covered legumes. Geoff hurriedly wiped his hands on his overalls, eager to get any traces of the toxic substance off his skin. His partner, Ralph, set the now-empty metal container down with a sigh of relief. “And there go the last of 'em. Alright, let's head home, Geoff.”

Geoff nodded and turned away with a yawn, falling into step with the ease of long-time friends. “Great, 'cause I am dead tired. Who knew dumping soybeans could be so exhausting?” As the two drove away in a rusty, battered pick-up truck, they didn't notice the lack of nighttime noises that usually permeated the area, nor did they dwell on thoughts about where those soybeans would go, carried by a current that happened to flow by a strange, glowing patch of ocean...

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

_On the ocean floor, something shifted in a pile of soybeans, illuminated by the eerie greenish light of illegally-dumped radioactive waste. The top of the mound twitched, and a soybean floated free, carried by an intangible current. Soon after, another drifted after the first, and another, and another, and before long the entire heap of protein-rich beans was swimming through the ocean, playing some twisted form of Follow the Leader. Eventually, they arrived at a deserted shore and burst from the water, flying into a nearby cave. They settled onto the sand, the legumes shifting their attentions to the bean who had led them there._

_A whisper slithered through the cave, sending excited tremors through the crowd. They rustled in anticipation, but the leader silenced them. Their time for revenge would be soon._

_Very soon._

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Our history books said the invasion was subtle, so undetected that no one figured out what was going on until it was too late. At first, there were just random deaths, all after consuming some food made from soybeans. Afterward, the investigators assumed the beans had simply snuck into the processing plants and been made into tofu and soymilk; indeed, food to die for. But even after tofu and any other soybean products had been banned from production, people still continued to disappear. Their desiccated corpses would be found days later, a strange jagged hole in their chests, as if something had burst out. The police never discovered the source behind such macabre wounds, nor did they ever find the killer.

The gruesome murders continued for three years, and then they stopped. Completely. The humans were absolutely baffled. By that time, though, the soybeans had already amassed an army large enough to conquer mankind three times over, and conquer they did. No matter where the humans hid, the sentient legumes always found them and either turned them into breeding stock or killed them through forced ingestion. People tried to rebel, of course, but a very public display of just why the soybeans' numbers weren't decreasing quickly stamped out any will to fight.

On the day of Norma's Sacrifice, a soybean boldly shot into the rebellion leader Norma's mouth in broad daylight and took the woman's life. The true horror, though, began after she was dead, for out of her chest grew a little green sprout that quickly burgeoned into a mature soybean plant. Within seconds, Norma's flesh began to shrivel up as the plant swelled, as if taking in the life-giving liquid, and the petrified crowd watched as it sprouted seed pods, far too many to be normal. Once all the blood had been drained from the corpse, the seed pods opened, and out flew hundreds of new soybeans, ready for destruction. When the seed pods were all empty, the mother plant shriveled and wasted away to dust, leaving no trace of its existence behind other than the hole in Norma's chest, torn ragged by the force of the plant's growth.

The textbook doesn't say much more about what happened after Norma's Sacrifice, but it does include one last transmission from a lonely messenger:

“ _This...may be...the last day of my life. The soybeans have removed any semblance...of freedom left, leaving us in chains and...and developing technology, dangerous technology, on some twisted quest for who knows what...Why are they doing this?...What do they want?...Please, someone, hear this and help us...Help, please...Please!...PLEASE, GOD, HELP US!”_

The man's last call rings through my mind as I sit in my cage, shackled like the rest of my kind, and I chuckle bitterly. We know why the beans did it. We know why they're still doing it now. All they want, they say, is...

A nearby door rattles open, and a golden speck flies to hover over the head of my neighbor, a tall Ledoran with a strong body. The terror in his slit pupils reflects the fear of millions of others, and his skin starts shifting hues in accordance with his emotions. I watch as he is ushered out of the room, heading to a fate that we can't escape.

I wait, and I am not disappointed. Within minutes, the Ledoran comes back as a grey corpse, tossed onto a growing heap of bodies. A low mourning sigh runs through the room, and I turn my eyes away. In all honesty, I pity the invaders. They seek something they may never find, yet they don't stop searching, simply because they don't know anything else. All that they've done, all that they're doing, and all that they will do is all for one purpose.

To be eaten.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

_Eat us...eat us..._


End file.
